(winter) spring cleaning

you know, i think winter gets a tough wrap.  don't get me wrong - i am the first person to admit that i cannot deal with the cold.  like.  can. not. deal.  and yes, i realize i am originally from vermont -- but here's the thing: i was cold in vermont too! it's not like that magically means i should be out snowshoeing in shorts and a tank top with a huge smile on my face in 20 degree weather.  no. i was cold there too.  and this problem has only gotten worse as i have aged, as the years have passed by my ability to suffer the cold weather has decreased exponentially. my teeth chatter uncontrollably in 50 degree weather, much to the amusement of my friends.  my bones feel as though they radiate ice.  which can be really amusing for me if i happen to accidentally brush my hand across another person's skin.  first they cringe in horror then they stare at me, amazed that someone who has such cold hands could possibly, indeed, still have a beating heart. 


as many of us remember from grade school, winter is the time for hibernation.  which can be both literal and figurative.  making changes and cleaning out the cobwebs just seem easier to do in the spring.  but, i've never been one to let a season keep me from doing some major overhaul on the layer of clutter that has seemed to collect in my physical, mental and spiritual body.  as you may recall from one of my earlier blog postings, i don't even like to make new year's resolutions because, well why wait for a certain calendar day to make a change? so in that spirit i have started to attempt to clean out my life.  

like old pairs of jeans, my relationships and decisions have been pulled out of the closet, and tried on to see if they still fit, if they still serve me the way i need them too.  am i just keeping them because i hope one day to be the person that this fits?  should i still hold onto something if it doesn't fit now?  the process begins.  and as i start to discard the things i no longer have use for.  it has not been easy and obviously there are always things that i probably should toss in the "to go" pile - but just can't bring myself to yet.  

and maybe that's okay.  maybe right now the most important thing is to just start to ask the questions and just hope that every little bit counts.  life is a process and nothing is going to change in one day.  no matter how much you might want it to.  so all i (or anyone) can do is take one step, one breath at a time and just continue to believe and hope. 


xxx