in my lack of updates, i have been busy plugging away trying to find more places to teach and learn yoga. lately i have been struggling with an all too common feeling of being "less than." in this time, it's hard not to feel like that, especially if you are in the unique position of trying to market yourself for a job. let me just tell you if you aren't in this position: it's tough goings out there. it feels like every day i am sending my yoga resume to someone just asking for just the opportunity to show them what i can do - and yet no responses come my way. the few leads that i have happened across where someone actually took the time to respond to me, simply ended in an elaborate way of them saying "not this time."
you'd think with my past experience, being an actor, that i would be used to this sort of thing. that my skin would be as thick as a rhinoceros... but alas - this is not the case. i have a horrible habit of getting excited about something (that is usually at best a distant possibility) and then easily get discouraged when opportunity evades me. this is one of the biggest reasons i couldn't take being a professional actor. i don't think i would have been able to get out of bed in the morning if i had to keep up with all of the very personal feeling rejection. it's a weakness, and here i thought i had eluded it. well, the universe thinks otherwise. as is generally the case, avoidance is usually not the best answer to your problems, guess this means i actually have to stand up and deal with these emotions.
as i write this, i am reminded of an earlier post where i talked about the bhagavad gita. krishna tells arjuna to "take the action, let go of the result." maybe if i can get myself to really believe this - i won't need to wonder how the rhinoceros got it's skin anymore.
"take the action, let go of the result..." breathe. repeat.
xxx
5/21/2010
nearest and dearest.
one of my nearest and dearest (not to mention oldest) friends, artist hannah hamilton, made some amazing designs for me for my birthday - which she is converting into business cards for me. check out her designs and her website. :) she's pretty awesome. (and yes this is the same amazing lady who assisted in designing my tattoo).
i could not love these more if i tried.
xxx
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