it ain't easy being green...

have you seen that commercial?  you know the one where some green energy company talks about how green has changed from merely a color to a way to be, to a lifestyle?  after thinking about it green really does have so many meanings: from being environmentally friendly, similarly green is obviously linked to nature... but it is also linked to being jealous (green eyed monster), ill (green around the gills), prosperity (the color of money), envy (green with envy), and to being new and inexperienced.  

 this last one is of course what i am referring to when i borrow one of my favorite muppet's line - "it ain't easy being green." 

lately i have been feeling a bit frustrated at my own lack of prowess and experience teaching yoga.  being the person i am, i am ready and eager to move forward and soak up anything i can to help me progress - but sadly, it seems that those opportunities are few and far between. it's true i can't yell at a seed to give me fruit... but what happens when there is no water to nurture the seed? 

this morning i received my paperwork from the yoga alliance which proves that i am a "registered yoga teacher" (ryt - if you will)  the purpose of aligning yourself with the yoga alliance is to buy those three letters (ryt) along with an emblem to put after your name to signify that you are serious about your teaching and prove that you meet all of the requirements set forth by the alliance of being a yoga teacher.  

anyway, whilst perusing their website i came across this link under the heading of choosing your yoga teacher. this form designed to help inquiring students figure out a beneficial teacher by giving them some guidelines of things to ask your teacher and what the answers should be.  i think this is a great tool, however i couldn't help but notice that they specifically point out that your yoga teacher should have at least three years of consistent practice before they start teaching.  now i do not disagree with this, at all.  it just simply made me re-realize that i don't have that.  before starting my training i had just over one year of consistent practice under my belt.  of the people in my training i was one of the newbies, i think only i and one other had such little consistent experience going in.  though, of course i went through the training and did quite well throughout i did miss that sense of already knowing.  

when i decided to go to college to get a theater degree i had already been practicing theater (not to mention teaching theater) for at least 6 years.  i was comfortable in my base knowledge.  i can't help but feel a twinge of regret that i have not had a consistent practice for longer.  though i have been aware of yoga and used it in a recreational sense - i don't have that sense of knowing. 

of course regret doesn't change anything.  onward i go - clutching the idea that "everything happens the way it is supposed to" close and hoping that perhaps one day in the not too distant future, i will start to see some sprouts from this seed of mine.  

with hope.

xxx

a little bit of this, a little bit of that.

i've been on a roll with my yoga practice this week.  i've either practiced or taught every day since friday of last week, and it feels great! even though some days i have felt a bit sore or like i would rather catch up on my sleep - it's been invigorating to just keep going.  tonight i think i will be checking out a new studio (to me) karma yoga in harvard square.  i am subbing there next week (three whole classes!) and i figured it would be good if i checked out the space before i walk in next friday to teach.  also it's always good spread your wings and see what else is out there.  though i love my current studio, i'm sure there are many more studios and teachers i will fall in love with should i give them a chance. 

in other recent news - i am in the process of planning another yoga photo shoot, which is exciting.  i need to think about what poses will work best artistically as well as physically for me.  sadly due to a lifetime of ignoring my tight hamstrings, and only a few years of trying to open them back up... i can't do most of the cool, aesthetically pleasing poses that most teachers do in their photos.  and my arm balances are iffy.  so right now i am planning for a lot of back-bends, probably some twists... and i'm not sure what else.  any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated!  

on a related note, in preparation for said photo shoot, i am thinking about doing a sort of cleanse.  not like a master cleanse or anything like that - my body does not tolerate it when i don't feed it.  i get nauseous and am pretty miserable to be around - so that's out.  but i have been thinking for a few weeks about doing a week of eating only non-processed foods.  focusing on eating fruits, veggies, nuts and whole grains.  i incorporate a lot of those in my diet now but i definitely don't eat them exclusively.  i have heard a lot of great things from friends who have done similar "cleanses" so perhaps i will give it a shot and write about it.  so, stay tuned for that.

before i sign off i have a few classes where people can actually come without being a member of anything like that so here's a shameless "here's where i am teaching and when" plug:  

• sunday, 06/27 4:30p-5:30p slow-flow vinyasa at the lily pad in cambridge, $10.
• friday, 07/02 10:30a-11:45a vinyasa (flow) at karma yoga in cambridge, $15 drop-in.   
• friday, 07/02 12:00p-1:00p vinyasa (flow) at karma yoga in cambridge, $15 drop-in.
• saturday, 07/03 10a-11:15a hatha yoga at karma yoga in cambridge, $15 drop-in

i'd love to see some familiar faces!  so come play!  

xxx

but, but... i want it!

i've recently discovered online resellers.  it started innocently enough a few days ago.  i had been looking for a yoga halter top for a while now and when i posted something on the lululemon facebook page asking if they would ever make one - someone referred me to another facebook page called the lululemon exchange, saying you can find many sold out items there.  basically people post ads of items they have and how much they want for them.  i think this discovery will probably be a problem.  i've already ordered two tops...  as if i didn't already have enough trouble spending more money than i should at lululemon (cause i love me some high quality, good looking yoga clothes).  this facebook page has of course led me to what others have been telling me about for so long... that's right - ebay.  i am starting off slow cause i know if i don't keep myself in check this could turn into a real problem.  i am currently stalking one item a dance pulse wrap that i've seen on the lulu website but don't really care for either of the current colors being offered. here's a picture of it in a dark grey (though the one i have my eye on is a light grey).  isn't it pretty? 

if i do come out successful in this acquisition, i am going to have to take a break for a while.  three items ordered and then i went into the store yesterday and bought two other things.  yikes! how easy it is to get caught up in the drunkenness of wanting things.  i may be a yoga teacher, but i am also human.  at least i will put these purchases to good use by getting good and sweaty in 'em.     

xxx

planting seeds.

i had the great opportunity to take a workshop at back bay yoga yesterday and today with raghunath cappo.  (check the picture to the right - yup that's him - how bad-ass is that?)

the workshop focused mainly on a strong vinyasa practice with a hefty dose of handstands (my asana nemesis at the moment).  though i usually tend to avoid classes or workshops that focus on my weakness (ie. arm balances and inversions) i am so glad that i didn't let me ego get in the way this time.  it was wonderful.  i was not able to do half of the stuff that was demoed in this workshop but i did my best.  and one thing that raghunath said that i will carry with me throughout my practice is: you are planting the seeds.  don't worry if you can't do this right now - there's no point in yelling at an apple seed to make apples.  you need to plant it and let it grow.  everyone in this room is at a different place, either planting or growing or watching a flower bloom or finding the fruit or harvesting and that's great.  we all have to start somewhere.  

so even though i was falling more than flying (or rather, not falling but being great as raghunath calls it) i kept on trying.  and even though i was sweating more than one could think possible (i literally looked like i had been ambushed by a group of young bandits wielding super-soakers) i kept on trying, cause what do i have to lose?  

another great point he made is you never know how far you are away from achieving what you want.  in terms of asana, perhaps this next time you can jump straight up into handstand - you don't know.  that is, until you try.  perhaps it won't be this next time, but it will be your hundredth try - who knows.  you just gotta keep keeping on.    

at one point during the practice, and yes i was already drenched in my own sweat, we transitioned to warrior 2 and were told that we were going to hold it there for one minute.  now, one minute may not seem like a long time, but lord, after you have already been working hard it seems like an eternity.  raghunath addressed this upfront.  "your mind is probably not  going to want to you to stay in that pose for that long, but that's okay -  change your mind."  ha.  just change my mind and that will will my limbs from involuntarily shaking... sure.... that sounds reasonable.  so once we found our footing he invited us to close our eyes and focus on either counting slowly or repeating a mantra - it will help he assured.  so i started slowly counting to 10.  s l o w l y.   by the time i hit 7 he offered a mantra "not the body, not the mind but something divine."  and i fell in love with that.  so after i rolled that around in my mind once or twice - we were already done.  my arms didn't shake, my front leg didn't buckle under my effort.  that was totally doable!  


after finishing the practice and coming home, i thought about that mantra again "not the body, not the mind but something divine."  in yogic philosophy, we are not characterized by anything that one would normally throw out there in western culture.  for example, i am not a young female, five feet five inches - but rather that is simply my body - that is my little "s" self which is merely the vessel for what i really am, what we call our big "s" self.  my soul.  our little "s" self is constantly in flux, our bodies cells are constantly changing, but our big "s" self exists above that.  i (big "s" self) am not my body, i have a body but i am not my body, i (big "s" self) am not my mind, i have a mind but i am not my mind, but rather, i am something divine.  how wonderful to be freed from something that for so long i have felt defines me.  this body is a gift, a vessel for me to experience the world and i should treat it as such rather than constantly berating myself for it not looking a certain way or not bending a certain way.  

i've had a great opportunity of planting lots of seeds this weekend and i can't wait to have them start to grow.  i know that on my path to better my practice, and better myself i will be challenged and maybe even renounce these thoughts due to frustration and anger over things i cannot control - it's okay.  just because i don't believe them every second of every day doesn't mean it still isn't true.  the physical world is in constant flux.  there is nothing you can possess in this world that cannot and will not be taken from you. the only thing that can't be taken away from you is your ability to give and share love.  


so i invite you, whether or not any of these ideas speak to you or if you think it's all a bunch of hooey - give and share love.  it will make this world, ever changing as it is, a better place.  


light and love all of you.  namaste.  


xxx

blessed.

i've taught four classes in the last five days.  and i will get to teach for the next three days in a row.  i am so blessed and thankful to be able to share my practice and my love of yoga with others.  (though i could and normally would) go into a tail spin about how many teachers, who i aspire to be like, knock out 7 classes in only two days rather than a lengthy eight... i won't).  i am simply going to enjoy my classes as they come and keep on spreading love, light and joy to anyone who rolls a mat down in my class.  

xxx